Good vs Bad: Power of Positive Influences

by Melissa Watkins

Months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Lynn Gordon for the 1st time as she became a new personal training client. I don’t know if I have ever - Let me stress, ever - met someone quite so caring, giving and thoughtful. She’s the kind of person that offers her car when my vintage Camry is yet again in the shop; the kind of person that runs home to grab an accessory that she knows will be just perfect for my 20s themed movie night. She is constantly thinking of others, pondering how she can bring a smile to someone’s day. She probably doesn’t know this, but she is an inspiration to me. She inspires me to pass on kindness to others and reminds me how amazing a positive force can be in everyday life. After all, kindness begets kindness.

What or who positively affects your life every day? Do you have a friend or coworker who makes you want to be a better person? And when it comes to your fitness goals, who is your motivator? Who or what pushes you to be a better version of yourself?

Positive Influences

Here’s the thing about influencing others, it isn’t a conscious thing that we do. We are exerting influence on others everyday by simply being who we are, saying what we say and acting as we act. The only real choice we have in the matter is whether we chose to be a good influence or a bad. Likewise, we can choose to surround ourselves with people who will positively or negatively influence us.

Think about the people in your life. Think about the shows you watch, the magazines you read and even the music you listen to. Are these people and things positives or negatives for your life?

Becoming a Good Influence

Last March, a group of clients, employees and friends, took me out to dinner for my birthday. As the waiter came around the table, I quickly chose a healthy chicken dish and ordered. My sister turned to me and whispered “You don’t have to order healthy, it’s your birthday. I quietly nodded, confirming that I knew what I was doing. We both watched as the two people to my right and one across from me at the table followed my lead, ordering a healthy dish.

It was in this moment, and many like it over the years, that I have become conscious of my influence over others. You just never know who’s watching you. And most times, someone is. I preach in my blogs about proper eating, healthy exercise habits and more. However, at the end the day, my actions as viewed by others are substantially more influential than my words.

So ask yourself this, Do you want to create value with your life? Become a good influence. How, you may ask? Not by talking the talk, but by walking it. By becoming the example of health that you want to see, your friends and loved ones will be positively influenced by everything you do.

Bad Influences

A wise college professor of mine once said that you can figure out what kind of person you are by looking at the people your surround yourself with. If I’m in a great mood when I walk into work in the morning, it often only takes one mean person on the phone to take away all of my positive vibes. But since I know that my attitude directly impacts hundreds of women that walk through the door at Steps each week, I am quick to fight negative forces and return my smile to my face.

Some people are simply toxic, complaining constantly, gossiping mercilessly, or simply failing to treat others with kindness [we, like many businesses, get this a lot from people]. On days when we’re strong enough, not only to avoid being pulled into similar patterns of behavior but also to help them avoid such negative behaviors as well, we can serve as good influences over these negative forces. On days when we’re weaker ourselves and therefore more susceptible to negative influences, we should avoid such people as best we can. It’s quite easy when we’re feeling low to spiral even lower under the influence of someone else’s negativity.

Conversion Theory: How to Change Negative to Positive

As much as we may want to, changing someone’s life approach from overly negative to positive is about the hardest thing to do. When I get a new client that walks in and immediately tells me they hate Zumba, I usually offer up that I see where they are coming from but make sure to tell them that we are a different breed of Zumba. I don’t spend much time on this because, after all, why tell them when I can show them? This negativity is turned to positive 80% of the time at Steps once the new client tries a class. Similarly, most personal training clients come in defeated. They hate their bodies, hate their relationship with food and are sick of working out. I show them proper eating, how lifting can be empowering and fun, and change their entire mindset.

Steps is converting negative people to positive every day through our actions, our words and our real life attitudes. And if you aren’t already using us as a positive influence, change that! Or maybe you’re a devoted member but you have a friend that hates exercise or dieting. Or maybe you have a sister or mother who hate their bodies. Share your fitness with them, share your successes. Show them what it means to be positive, show them what it means to be strong, show them what it is to love your body. Walk the walk.

Control- You Have More Than You Think

by Melissa Watkins

As any good control freak will tell you, much of our lives is out of our control.  The traffic on your way to work in the morning, your boss’ mood on that day, your children’s behavior when you aren’t around, your significant other’s day being good or bad, the cold or flu that may creep into your household, your dog’s digestive problems and so much more throughout a single day.  If you’re like most, you’ve learned to find a balance- controlling the things that you can and letting go of the things that you can't.

While we practice this behavior very well in the majority of our lives, many of us struggle with this concept in our own health and wellness.  I see two extremes in the fitness industry:

1)      A client that believes that their body is nearly 100% out of their control. Whether they have credited their weight gain or lack of loss to menopause, hypothyroidism, a hysterectomy or merely their age [this one is the most common], they've decided it is not under their umbrella of control. In doing this, they've stopped trying to reach goals.  They're now either just maintaining or have completely thrown it to the wind [eat what they want, little to no exercise].

2)      A client that believes their body is 100% in their control. This client comes in with a very specific picture [sometimes literally] of what kind of body type they want,  going 100% right away, every class they can do, personal training and a strict food plan.  While I love this client’s enthusiasm, generally one of 2 things happens: 1) they hurt themselves. They start too fast, ignoring the necessity of stretching and resting or fail to properly fuel their overworked bodies with enough calories. 2) They burn themselves out and need to take a break. Usually this break ends up being a break-up.

Have you found yourself guilty of one of those two things over the years? If so, I’m telling you that there’s a better way!

First, I need you to say these words to yourself out loud- “My body is in my control.” Now, I need you to believe that.

Secondly, I need you to set some goals again. Start small. Start with 3 realistic and attainable goals [i.e- not “lose 100 lbs this month]. And make sure those goals have a realistic and attainable time frame. Unsure what that time frame make look like? Ask me. Here’s some ideas:

-          Start each day with a healthy breakfast

-          Drink 8 glasses a water a day

-          Pack a healthy lunch for work on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays

-          Go to 3 classes per week at Steps

-          Make it to Sculpt Tuesdays and Thursdays for 4 weeks

-          Lose 5 lbs by this day next month

-          Do 10 push-ups each morning after breakfast

-          Pack my workout clothes & take to work with me M-F

-          Attend P90X every Saturday that I’m in town

-          Add Personal Training with Melissa 1 time per week for 1 month

WRITE THEM DOWN. This is the key to accountability.

 PRINT GOAL WORKSHEET

Finally- the kicker…MAKE A PLAN. Connect the dots between your present state and your goal.  If you say you are going to lose 5 lbs this month, tell yourself HOW. How will you be changing your life to meet this goal? What change will you make today? One week from now? 3 weeks from now?

  

Finally, find the errors in your plan before you begin. Ask yourself these simple questions, honestly:

1.  Do you have the knowledge that you need?
1.  If yes, proceed.
2.  If no, find the tools. Sign up for a Nutritional Consultation at Steps or a Personal Training Session. Even one session can help you establish better goals.
2. Do you have the motivation?
1.  If yes, proceed.
2.  If no:
1. Ask a friend to meet you for classes
2. Ask a loved one to hold you accountable to your goals
3. Sign-up for personal training
4. Join one of our new Motivation Groups!
3.  Is your plan enough?
1. Are you fixing your diet?
1. If yes, proceed
2. If no, you can NOT overcompensate for a bad diet with excessive exercise. It must start in your kitchen!
2.  Are you working out, in some way, at least 3 times/weekly?
1. If yes, GOOD!
2. If no, find another way to add exercise. Talk to Melissa about satellite Personal Training from the comfort of your own home!

Want to join a small group of people, who have set goals and will help you keep on track for yours? Join our 1^st monthly accountability group today! Only $10! CLICK HERE for more info.

Who We Are.

by Melissa Watkins

My love for Fitness came initially from sadness. Sadness at what I see when I look around at my closest friends, family and at this country we live in.

I’m sad every time I look into society’s eyes and see excuses, false perceptions and shaky resolutions.

I’m sad as I meet a middle-aged woman who says she has never worked out a day in her life.

I’m sad to live in a society where 35.7% of people are obese. Not overweight, obese. And in this very society, we still have people who have lived 30+ years without entering a gym, without wanting to change.

I’m sad each time I enroll a client who pays and never comes. I’m even sadder that most gyms want this kind of client. In fact, this exact client is necessary in a typical gym business model.

I’m sad each time I meet an overweight child.  I’m sad to watch parents using candy and cake and cookies as a reward, teaching these children a very unhealthy relationship with food. I’m sad that this relationship follows them for a lifetime.

I’m sad at the food industry in this country.  Yes, of course I’m sad when I see meat by-product in our fast food, transfats galore in restaurant food, chips, soda and candy for 99 cents.  But even worse, the foods that are designed to trick people who are actually trying to eat healthy- The 100 Calorie Snack Pack loaded with empty, bad carbohydrates; the fatty, dense, unhealthy foods with Gluten-Free or Low-Sugar stamped across them; “healthy protein bars” covering our shelves with 20-40 grams of sugar in them; and ALL of these juicing gimmicks telling people if they liquefy their food, it will somehow help them loose weight! Again, in a society dying of obesity, why do we insist on fooling consumers?

But more than anything else, I am sad everyday when I see people that I love struggling with themselves. Often times downright hating themselves.

That is why I created a Steps. These tricks and gimmicks and consumer lies showed me what our society is missing more than anything. We needed something bigger than a gym to walk in to or a video to try to follow at home.

When Steps was opened in 2011, it was opened with the dream of a safe haven for men and women who needed REAL results from their fitness program. I’m talking, the kind of results that include:

1. A lifelong, healthy relationship with food and exercise
2. An honest and true self-love and pride in your own accomplishments
3. An overwhelming trust in us

Steps is a place where we know your name to your face and whether you made it in yesterday or not. We often know your husband or wife, how old your baby is and when your next family vacation starts. We connect you with others who share your beliefs and goals. We share our knowledge with you but NEVER sell you a product or service that we haven’t tried ourselves and seen actual results with. We truly believe in YOU, often times more than you believed in yourself when you 1^st walk in.

This is who we are.